2008
January "Facts are powerful, but stories are memorable."
This saying reminds us that while it is important to transmit and accumulate accurate information, it is often the story of an actual experience that provides the glue to make that information stick with the listener.
Father Michael Shay, S.D.S., pastor of San Martin de Porres Parish in Sahuarita, shares this story about the importance of "standing operating procedures" (SOPs) for high risk activities, of following them and of teaching children to play a part in the web of protection we seek to weave around them.
"The saying, 'close doesn't count except in horseshoes and hand grenades,' may be reassuring in some ways, but a failed (Deo gratias!) child abduction came too close for comfort recently in our parish.
"The parish has an SOP requiring adult staff to be present always when children are arriving and departing religious education requirements; parents are required to park their cars and exit to deliver and pick up their children.
"Not withstanding this SOP, we learned belatedly that a little girl, outside the observation of the adults present, was offered a ride by a stranger on the first night of classes.
"Fortunately, the girl, wise and informed because of the personal safety education received that very evening, immediately returned indoors and awaited her father's ride. She followed her lesson perfectly: 'Say no, go and tell someone.'
"The system broke down only in that the father did not make his own report to law enforcement or parish personnel. He assumed his daughter had told the Director of Religious Education, but she had not. The parish found out about the incident only several weeks later in a casual conversation with the father. Only then did it get reported to local law enforcement."
I'll interrupt Father Shay's story here to emphasize the important lessons he and the parish have learned from this experience.
With the staff, Father Shay has emphasized the importance of the SOPs that make clear what to do (and what not to do) in critical activities. With the children, all members of the pastoral team see even more clearly the value of teaching and repeating the basic message of the personal safety education: "Say no, go and tell someone." With parents, he has reiterated the importance of making reports immediately, part of the parent education material that is provided.
Now, back to the conclusion of Father Shay's story:
"This incident, that occurred despite a good SOP and the presence of adults, confirms that the age in which we live demands constant vigilance by both parents and children andregular mandatory renewal of information and awareness to both -- "We've already taken the training," notwithstanding! Predators continually develop new approaches, and in defense of our precious children, we all must keep informed."
2008
February
Anyone who reads this column regularly knows that I am a great fan of volunteers and that I think it is important that we have systems in place in our parishes and schools for managing their invaluable service to us in a manner that minimizes risk to them, to those they serve and to the parish or school.
It is in this context that I want to do something completely different in this column.
I am offering a book review.
Every once in a while you run into a real Renaissance woman. Sister Mary Angela Shaughnessy, S.C.N., is such a woman.
Although I don't know her personally, I have come to know her work through the good offices of our diocesan Department of Catholic Schools.
Sister Mary Angela is a Sister of Charity of Nazareth who, at a relatively young age, has amassed a very impressive resumé.
She has walked the ground that leaders in parishes and schools walk, teaching at all levels and serving a high school principal.
In addition to several degrees in English and Education, she has a law degree and has been admitted to the bar in Kentucky.
Sister Mary Angela was brought to my attention because she is a frequent writer and speaker on legal issues that affect Catholic schools. Quite often, her topics overlap with the key elements of our diocesan Safe Environment Program -- reporting, screening, educating and supervising.
What she writes is just as relevant to parishes as it is to schools.
Hot off the press is the second edition of her book, "Volunteers in Catholic Education: An Administrator's Guide to Legal Considerations."
From the "legal pre-test" through the outline for a volunteer handbook, the book is full of very practical suggestions that reflect both her practical experience and her learning.
Chapter Five, dealing first with boundaries, is particularly useful. It contains the basic elements for a general Standing Operating Procedure (SOP) for volunteers.
Perhaps most importantly, the book will give you a sense of the importance of the role of volunteers and all the reasons that giving or accepting the authority of that role should be done with care, for the good of the volunteer and those he or she serves.
This book would be particularly useful for anyone who is in charge of volunteers or a cohort of volunteers in a parish or school.
With the pamphlet, "Volunteers Make a Difference in Catholic Education," it will help you explain (as a supervisor) and understand (as a direct service volunteer) what you are asked to do and why.
The book is available from the National Catholic Educational Association, www.ncea.org, where you can search the online store under the author's name.
2008
March
Numbers and statistics can be dry and mind-numbing, but they take on relevancy and meaning when they tell us about something we really care about.
We really care about protecting our children from abuse, so the numbers and statistics in a recently released report grab our attention and challenge us in surprising ways.
Published in 2007 by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and consisting largely of figures and tables, "Child Maltreatment 2005" contains many important pieces of information.
I want to share with you a few of those pieces that bring evidence to bear on two misconceptions that I have found even among persons who sincerely want to help protect children from abuse.
The first misconception is to focus our protection efforts and concern only on sexual abuse of children. It is understandable that this type of abuse stands out for us, considering the horrific nature of this form of abuse and our experience within the Church of the tragic consequences when adults in positions of authority betray the trust placed in them.
The statistics, however, tell a broader story.
In 2005, 899,000 young lives were marred painfully by mistreatment. Of these children and youth, well more than half were victims of neglect. The second most common type of mistreatment was physical abuse, at 16.6 per cent. Sexual abuse was the third most common form of mistreatment, totaling 9.3 per cent, a little more than the 7.1 per cent that suffered psychological or emotional abuse.
In constructing the parish and school safe environment education programs, it is important to remember these proportions so that we do not forget to maintain a broad focus and do not miss the most common forms of mistreatment and abuse that children experience.
The second misconception is to believe that parents, who are indeed the primary educators of their children, should be the only educators of their children when it comes to preventing abuse. Here, the statistics tell a troubling story.
Overall, nearly 80 per cent of those maltreating children are in fact the parents themselves. Most commonly, parents abuse in the form of criminal neglect (61 per cent of cases).
However, even if we consider only sexual abuse, a disturbingly high percentage of perpetrators (61.7 per cent) are parents or persons in parental roles. Another 4.9 per cent are friends or neighbors of the parents.
What are the implications of these numbers?
First, it is clear that the great majority of parents (and of people in general) do not do harm to children.
Second, when maltreatment does occur, the most common perpetrators of that abuse are those adults closest to the child.
Third, when it comes to personal safety for children and youth, it is necessary but not sufficient to educate parents.
All those who serve young people must know how to spot and respond to signs of all types of abuse, and children themselves must be taught that they can speak up if they are being treated shamefully.
It is disturbing to consider stories of harm done to children, even when those stories are related in the form of statistical summaries. Nevertheless, we must know what is happening if we are to see it and stop it.
With your willingness to support the safe environment program in your parish and school, we can turn the distress we feel into motivation to make a difference in the lives of the children under our care.
Reach out to your pastor, principal or compliance officers. Let them know that you are aware of their efforts to carry out the ministry of the church in manner that protects those it serves.
Offer your collaboration and, when you can, your active assistance, in the campaign to provide ongoing, quality education to all in the Church, especially to the children and youth for whom we care.
2008
April
One of the critically important strands we continue to weave in the "web of safety" for the protection of children at our parishes and schools is personal safety education.
The whole effort to educate children and youth in personal safety is based on the idea that children and youth can and should be empowered to play a role in maintaining this "web of safety" around them.
Of course, children and youth cannot be fully responsible for their own safety, but there is considerable research suggesting that the effort to give children this type of training is effective.
Many studies have shown that children do retain the basic concepts taught in such curricula. There is also reason to believe that children who learn the basic concepts are more likely to tell adults when they feel unsafe or uncomfortable. They appear to be less likely to blame themselves if an adult acts inappropriately toward them.
Since 2003, parishes and schools in the Diocese of Tucson have been educating our children and youth about what they can do to keep themselves safe from the approaches of people who might do them harm.
In 2006, the Diocese bolstered its efforts in personal safety education through its own Personal Safety Curriculum for Children and Youth.
This curriculum represents the combined efforts of the diocesan Catholic Schools Department and Office of Catechesis. It was reviewed by a focus group of parents and received the blessing of Bishop Kicanas.
The curriculum is increasingly well integrated our Catholic Schools and parish religious education programs.
The flexibility of the curriculum and the wide range of objectives make it possible for each teacher to forge a clear connection between the personal safety information and the religious education topic on any given day.
Clearly, the impact of the Personal Safety Curriculum is potentially great, but I did not realize how far ranging its impact might be until I spoke recently with Deacon Ken Moreland, the compliance representative for Most Holy Trinity Parish in Tucson.
He described to me a situation in which the parish had to respond to a sign of trouble in the life of one of its youth group members.
In reflecting on this situation, Deacon Ken remarked that when the Safe Environment Program and the Personal Safety Curriculum were instituted, some persons thought these efforts were "overkill," and they were concerned that if pastoral ministers reacted too strongly, the youth would "shut down."
However, Deacon Ken's experience has been exactly the opposite. He has come to the conclusion that if youth speak up, they want someone to hear.
In this way of understanding, the more effective the response of the pastoral minister, the more likely it is that youth will bring out their concerns, about self or others. The children and youth are waiting to see how we respond; are we "trusted adults" in fact or only in word?
Deacon Ken also has noticed that another, more basic message is getting through: "They care about us. The leaders of our parish care about us enough to pay attention and to act when someone is in trouble."
That is a very encouraging insight that gives us impetus and inspiration to act together, with goodwill and the systematic application of a comprehensive plan, to create an environment in which our children and youth know that we care and that we have the courage to act on their behalf.
Deacon Ken's experience and observations are certainly timely as we observe April as Child Abuse Prevention Month.
Keeping our children safe is a year-round effort, but you might reflect this month on what your parish and your school are doing. If you don't know – ask!
(You can read the Personal Safety Curriculum for Children and Youth at www.diocesetucson.org under "Child Protection," "Resources and Support.")
2008
May
Each year, the Children’s Bureau of the Administration on Children, Youth and
Families in the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services distributes a terrific resource packet called "Promoting Healthy Families in Your Community."
When I read my copy this year, one sentence just jumped out at me:
"When families are supported, children are less likely to be at risk for child maltreatment and more likely to grow up happy and healthy."
Addressing the needs of families has been a particular emphasis for Bishop Gerald Kicanas in the last year. He has listened to parents and grandparents in Tucson and in Yuma. At his request, members of the Diocesan Pastoral Council held their own listening sessions with parents and grandparents and brought what they heard back to him.
The themes raised in these sessions were remarkably similar. Parents and grandparents are concerned that their children and adolescents be taught the facts about our faith. There is a desire to emphasize the connection among parishes, reinforcing our sense of unity as a diocese. There is a desire to reach out to family members and friends who have drifted away from the community of faith.
As important as all these themes are, underlying each one of them is the loving unity of each family. If a family is not functioning, everything else that may be taught by pastoral ministers, every effort to reach out will seem only false, even hypocritical.
What can you do to support families in our Diocese?
Support with your time and your money the programs that exist in our communities to help with housing, utilities, health care and employment. Speak out to elected officials about the importance of these services on behalf of those who need a hand.
In particular, pay attention to the services that support families under the banner of Catholic Community Services. Among those services are pregnancy counseling and shelter, adoption and foster care, education and counseling, health and housing, and prevention of abuse or other domestic violence.
(Visit www.ccs-soaz.org to learn about the programs and services that are supported by the Annual Catholic Appeal and, this year, by Our Faith, Our Hope, Our Future, our diocesan renewal campaign. You will be amazed at the good that is accomplished through your generosity to support families.)
Notice when children around you are hurting. As I noted here last month, the great majority of child maltreatment occurs in the home. In economic downturns, this kind of maltreatment of children tends to increase. Very often, children in this situation suffer in silence, covering up and carrying stoically the family shame. It may be happening in your own extended family or in your parish.
And if you have noticed a child who is hurting, reach out through the reporting options available through law enforcement or Child Protective Services. When they cannot help, bring your concern forward to your pastor or other pastoral leaders. Be involved.
Most of all, live the life. You parents and grandparents can support each other so that each of you can live lovingly this difficult vocation of family.
Reach out to your children and grandchildren to insure that they receive and understand the lessons of our faith in deed as much as in word.
Give them the time and the attention that will mark them indelibly with an understanding of what it means to be loved and to love.
Finally, in this spirit of love, I wish to all the mothers in our Diocese and all who love them a Happy Mothers Day!
(The "Promoting Healthy Families in Your Community" resource packet is available free of charge at www.childwelfare.gov.)
2008
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2008
December
Protecting Our Children
Columns in the newspaper of the Diocese of Tucson by Dr. Paul Duckro, Ph.D.,
director of the Office of Child, Adolescent and Adult Protection for the Diocese of Tucson.