2008
January

"Facts are powerful, but stories are memorable."
This saying reminds us that while it is important to transmit and accumulate accurate information, it is often the story of an actual experience that provides the glue to make that information stick with the listener.
Father Michael Shay, S.D.S., pastor of San Martin de Porres Parish in Sahuarita, shares this story about the importance of "standing operating procedures" (SOPs) for high risk activities, of following them and of teaching children to play a part in the web of protection we seek to weave around them. 
"The saying, 'close doesn't count except in horseshoes and hand grenades,' may be reassuring in some ways, but a failed (Deo gratias!) child abduction came too close for comfort recently in our parish.
"The parish has an SOP requiring adult staff to be present always when children are arriving and departing religious education requirements; parents are required to park their cars and exit to deliver and pick up their children.
"Not withstanding this SOP, we learned belatedly that a little girl, outside the observation of the adults present, was offered a ride by a stranger on the first night of classes. 
"Fortunately, the girl, wise and informed because of the personal safety education received that very evening, immediately returned indoors and awaited her father's ride. She followed her lesson perfectly: 'Say no, go and tell someone.'
"The system broke down only in that the father did not make his own report to law enforcement or parish personnel. He assumed his daughter had told the Director of Religious Education, but she had not. The parish found out about the incident only several weeks later in a casual conversation with the father. Only then did it get reported to local law enforcement."
I'll interrupt Father Shay's story here to emphasize the important lessons he and the parish have learned from this experience.
With the staff, Father Shay has emphasized the importance of the SOPs that make clear what to do (and what not to do) in critical activities. With the children, all members of the pastoral team see even more clearly the value of teaching and repeating the basic message of the personal safety education: "Say no, go and tell someone." With parents, he has reiterated the importance of making reports immediately, part of the parent education material that is provided.
Now, back to the conclusion of Father Shay's story:
"This incident, that occurred despite a good SOP and the presence of adults, confirms that the age in which we live demands constant vigilance by both parents and children and regular mandatory renewal of information and awareness to both -- "We've already taken the training," notwithstanding! Predators continually develop new approaches, and in defense of our precious children, we all must keep informed."

2008
February

Anyone who reads this column regularly knows that I am a great fan of volunteers and that I think it is important that we have systems in place in our parishes and schools for managing their invaluable service to us in a manner that minimizes risk to them, to those they serve and to the parish or school.
It is in this context that I want to do something completely different in this column.
I am offering a book review.
Every once in a while you run into a real Renaissance woman. Sister Mary Angela Shaughnessy, S.C.N., is such a woman.
Although I don't know her personally, I have come to know her work through the good offices of our diocesan Department of Catholic Schools.
Sister Mary Angela is a Sister of Charity of Nazareth who, at a relatively young age, has amassed a very impressive resumé.
She has walked the ground that leaders in parishes and schools walk, teaching at all levels and serving a high school principal.
In addition to several degrees in English and Education, she has a law degree and has been admitted to the bar in Kentucky.
Sister Mary Angela was brought to my attention because she is a frequent writer and speaker on legal issues that affect Catholic schools. Quite often, her topics overlap with the key elements of our diocesan Safe Environment Program -- reporting, screening, educating and supervising.
What she writes is just as relevant to parishes as it is to schools.
Hot off the press is the second edition of her book, "Volunteers in Catholic Education: An Administrator's Guide to Legal Considerations."
From the "legal pre-test" through the outline for a volunteer handbook, the book is full of very practical suggestions that reflect both her practical experience and her learning.
Chapter Five, dealing first with boundaries, is particularly useful. It contains the basic elements for a general Standing Operating Procedure (SOP) for volunteers.
Perhaps most importantly, the book will give you a sense of the importance of the role of volunteers and all the reasons that giving or accepting the authority of that role should be done with care, for the good of the volunteer and those he or she serves.
This book would be particularly useful for anyone who is in charge of volunteers or a cohort of volunteers in a parish or school.
With the pamphlet, "Volunteers Make a Difference in Catholic Education," it will help you explain (as a supervisor) and understand (as a direct service volunteer) what you are asked to do and why.
The book is available from the National Catholic Educational Association, www.ncea.org, where you can search the online store under the author's name.

2008
March

Numbers and statistics can be dry and mind-numbing, but they take on relevancy and meaning when they tell us about something we really care about.
We really care about protecting our children from abuse, so the numbers and statistics in a recently released report grab our attention and challenge us in surprising ways.
Published in 2007 by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and consisting largely of figures and tables, "Child Maltreatment 2005" contains many important pieces of information.
 I want to share with you a few of those pieces that bring evidence to bear on two misconceptions that I have found even among persons who sincerely want to help protect children from abuse.
The first misconception is to focus our protection efforts and concern only on sexual abuse of children. It is understandable that this type of abuse stands out for us, considering the horrific nature of this form of abuse and our experience within the Church of the tragic consequences when adults in positions of authority betray the trust placed in them.
The statistics, however, tell a broader story.
In 2005, 899,000 young lives were marred painfully by mistreatment. Of these children and youth, well more than half were victims of neglect. The second most common type of mistreatment was physical abuse, at 16.6 per cent. Sexual abuse was the third most common form of mistreatment, totaling 9.3 per cent, a little more than the 7.1 per cent that suffered psychological or emotional abuse.
In constructing the parish and school safe environment education programs, it is important to remember these proportions so that we do not forget to maintain a broad focus and do not miss the most common forms of mistreatment and abuse that children experience.
The second misconception is to believe that parents, who are indeed the primary educators of their children, should be the only educators of their children when it comes to preventing abuse. Here, the statistics tell a troubling story.
Overall, nearly 80 per cent of those maltreating children are in fact the parents themselves. Most commonly, parents abuse in the form of criminal neglect (61 per cent of cases).
However, even if we consider only sexual abuse, a disturbingly high percentage of perpetrators (61.7 per cent) are parents or persons in parental roles. Another 4.9 per cent are friends or neighbors of the parents.
What are the implications of these numbers?
First, it is clear that the great majority of parents (and of people in general) do not do harm to children.
Second, when maltreatment does occur, the most common perpetrators of that abuse are those adults closest to the child.
Third, when it comes to personal safety for children and youth, it is necessary but not sufficient to educate parents.
All those who serve young people must know how to spot and respond to signs of all types of abuse, and children themselves must be taught that they can speak up if they are being treated shamefully.
It is disturbing to consider stories of harm done to children, even when those stories are related in the form of statistical summaries. Nevertheless, we must know what is happening if we are to see it and stop it.
With your willingness to support the safe environment program in your parish and school, we can turn the distress we feel into motivation to make a difference in the lives of the children under our care.
Reach out to your pastor, principal or compliance officers. Let them know that you are aware of their efforts to carry out the ministry of the church in manner that protects those it serves.
Offer your collaboration and, when you can, your active assistance, in the campaign to provide ongoing, quality education to all in the Church, especially to the children and youth for whom we care.

2008
April

One of the critically important strands we continue to weave in the "web of safety" for the protection of children at our parishes and schools is personal safety education.
The whole effort to educate children and youth in personal safety is based on the idea that children and youth can and should be empowered to play a role in maintaining this "web of safety" around them.
Of course, children and youth cannot be fully responsible for their own safety, but there is considerable research suggesting that the effort to give children this type of training is effective.
Many studies have shown that children do retain the basic concepts taught in such curricula. There is also reason to believe that children who learn the basic concepts are more likely to tell adults when they feel unsafe or uncomfortable. They appear to be less likely to blame themselves if an adult acts inappropriately toward them.
Since 2003, parishes and schools in the Diocese of Tucson have been educating our children and youth about what they can do to keep themselves safe from the approaches of people who might do them harm.
In 2006, the Diocese bolstered its efforts in personal safety education through its own Personal Safety Curriculum for Children and Youth.
This curriculum represents the combined efforts of the diocesan Catholic Schools Department and Office of Catechesis. It was reviewed by a focus group of parents and received the blessing of Bishop Kicanas.
The curriculum is increasingly well integrated our Catholic Schools and parish religious education programs.
The flexibility of the curriculum and the wide range of objectives make it possible for each teacher to forge a clear connection between the personal safety information and the religious education topic on any given day.
Clearly, the impact of the Personal Safety Curriculum is potentially great, but I did not realize how far ranging its impact might be until I spoke recently with Deacon Ken Moreland, the compliance representative for Most Holy Trinity Parish in Tucson.
He described to me a situation in which the parish had to respond to a sign of trouble in the life of one of its youth group members.
In reflecting on this situation, Deacon Ken remarked that when the Safe Environment Program and the Personal Safety Curriculum were instituted, some persons thought these efforts were "overkill," and they were concerned that if pastoral ministers reacted too strongly, the youth would "shut down."
However, Deacon Ken's experience has been exactly the opposite. He has come to the conclusion that if youth speak up, they want someone to hear.
In this way of understanding, the more effective the response of the pastoral minister, the more likely it is that youth will bring out their concerns, about self or others.  The children and youth are waiting to see how we respond; are we "trusted adults" in fact or only in word?
Deacon Ken also has noticed that another, more basic message is getting through: "They care about us. The leaders of our parish care about us enough to pay attention and to act when someone is in trouble."
That is a very encouraging insight that gives us impetus and inspiration to act together, with goodwill and the systematic application of a comprehensive plan, to create an environment in which our children and youth know that we care and that we have the courage to act on their behalf.
Deacon Ken's experience and observations are certainly timely as we observe April as Child Abuse Prevention Month.
Keeping our children safe is a year-round effort, but you might reflect this month on what your parish and your school are doing. If you don't know – ask! 
(You can read the Personal Safety Curriculum for Children and Youth at www.diocesetucson.org under "Child Protection," "Resources and Support.")

2008
May

Each year, the Children’s Bureau of the Administration on Children, Youth and
Families in the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services distributes a terrific resource packet called "Promoting Healthy Families in Your Community."
When I read my copy this year, one sentence just jumped out at me:
"When families are supported, children are less likely to be at risk for child maltreatment and more likely to grow up happy and healthy."
Addressing the needs of families has been a particular emphasis for Bishop Gerald Kicanas in the last year. He has listened to parents and grandparents in Tucson and in Yuma. At his request, members of the Diocesan Pastoral Council held their own listening sessions with parents and grandparents and brought what they heard back to him.
The themes raised in these sessions were remarkably similar. Parents and grandparents are concerned that their children and adolescents be taught the facts about our faith. There is a desire to emphasize the connection among parishes, reinforcing our sense of unity as a diocese. There is a desire to reach out to family members and friends who have drifted away from the community of faith.
As important as all these themes are, underlying each one of them is the loving unity of each family. If a family is not functioning, everything else that may be taught by pastoral ministers, every effort to reach out will seem only false, even hypocritical.
What can you do to support families in our Diocese?
Support with your time and your money the programs that exist in our communities to help with housing, utilities, health care and employment. Speak out to elected officials about the importance of these services on behalf of those who need a hand.
In particular, pay attention to the services that support families under the banner of Catholic Community Services. Among those services are pregnancy counseling and shelter, adoption and foster care, education and counseling, health and housing, and prevention of abuse or other domestic violence. 
(Visit www.ccs-soaz.org to learn about the programs and services that are supported by the Annual Catholic Appeal and, this year, by Our Faith, Our Hope, Our Future, our diocesan renewal campaign. You will be amazed at the good that is accomplished through your generosity to support families.)
Notice when children around you are hurting. As I noted here last month, the great majority of child maltreatment occurs in the home. In economic downturns, this kind of maltreatment of children tends to increase. Very often, children in this situation suffer in silence, covering up and carrying stoically the family shame. It may be happening in your own extended family or in your parish.
And if you have noticed a child who is hurting, reach out through the reporting options available through law enforcement or Child Protective Services. When they cannot help, bring your concern forward to your pastor or other pastoral leaders. Be involved.
Most of all, live the life. You parents and grandparents can support each other so that each of you can live lovingly this difficult vocation of family.
Reach out to your children and grandchildren to insure that they receive and understand the lessons of our faith in deed as much as in word.
Give them the time and the attention that will mark them indelibly with an understanding of what it means to be loved and to love.
Finally, in this spirit of love, I wish to all the mothers in our Diocese and all who love them a Happy Mothers Day!
(The "Promoting Healthy Families in Your Community" resource packet is available free of charge at www.childwelfare.gov.)

2008
June

A man had been "hanging around" at one of our parishes. Although he did not conduct himself well, was unkempt and had been warned about disruptive behavior, the parish reached out to him in charity the because he appeared to be in need.
This man did not seek to minister in any way in the parish, so there was no occasion to carry out a criminal history check or a review of references. He simply seemed to need patience and forbearance.
But at a very public Sunday morning breakfast in the parish hall, this man was seen by parishioners walking away with a little girl whose family was present.
The parishioners were alert and responsive. They acted quickly to stop the man. They called for police assistance.
After the police arrested the man, they learned that he was a registered sex offender. He had moved to the area of the parish without informing law enforcement.
As you can imagine, this apparent attempted abduction shocked the parish. Everyone was left shaking, wondering what might have happened if…
This kind of dramatic incident reinforces deep fears. We all have at some level a fear of the stranger with malevolent intent.
Yet, as understandable as the attention and the fears that such an incident raises are, this type of "stranger danger" is quite rare.
In our efforts to maintain a safe environment for children at our parishes and schools, it is important to not be distracted by this incident from the more common dangers.
Many persons with a history of sexual misconduct involving a minor do not look like they could be dangerous. They usually do not raise any concerns at all.
They do not come with herald and trumpet to announce their history or with a sign around the neck that warns of danger.
They come to the parish offering to give needed help, and they often look like the kind of person who can be effective in ministry -- neat in appearance with good communication skills.
They offer to help initially in a role that would not require fingerprinting or a criminal history check. If questions are asked about their background, they minimize any incident or excuse it entirely.
With time, those in leadership develop a sense of familiarity with the person. This gives them a false sense that they know the person.
The person gradually blends in. When the occasion arises that an adult is suddenly needed to do something that involves the care of children, the person is available and willing to help.
Such persons have tried to offer their help in our parishes. In situations about which I am aware, parishes have avoided potentially risky situations because someone came forward with information. They knew about the background of an individual and brought it forward or they brought up a concern about suspicious behavior that led to a closer look at the background.
With that information, the parishes were able to clearly determine that the individual could not be involved in any kind of service in the parish. The parishes alerted their key personnel to be on the look out for any indication of undue attention to children.
It is this kind of conscientious vigilance that is needed to guard against the threats that do not look like threats.
In the situations I have just described, no one can know what would have happened had persons not come forward, and it is certainly possible that the persons with a background of sexual misconduct had genuinely reformed their lives, but the risk is simply too great to take.
An such person who has truly repented, made amends and is pursuing recovery from a history of sexual offense knows full well that even if he does not consciously plan harm, in the wrong situation his own predilections will begin to work unconsciously.
A person who is truly trying to recover will be honest with others and repentant about their past. They will not minimize or excuse what happened, and they will ask for help to remain accountable and to avoid situations of being alone with minors.
Those who are at risk to harm again are those who keep secrets and avoid accountability and limits.
If you observe suspicious or imprudent behavior by any person who frequents the parish environment or if you know that a person who is becoming a familiar figure in the parish environment has an undisclosed background of sexual misconduct with a minor, let leadership in the parish know.
If you suspect that a child may have been abused by this person, call law enforcement immediately.
If you are in parish or school leadership and someone gives you information about a person’s background of sexual misconduct with children, take action immediately to document that report with law enforcement and set appropriate limits according to the safe environment program.
Do not be misled by a false sense of confidence in the person who wants to be helpful, who stays on the fringes of ministry, but who doesn't want to go through the "red tape" of a background check.
With your help, we can maintain a safe environment for those we serve, for those who serve them and for all our Church.

2008
August

In just about every sport, there are rules that say exactly what the dimensions of the court or field are and what the consequences are for going out of bounds.
For all of us who minister in parishes and schools in the Diocese of Tucson, avoiding even the appearance of getting close to going out of bounds is something that requires our attention.
Of course, the out-of-bounds rules that we pay attention to are found in the Guidelines for the Prevention of and Response to Sexual Misconduct.
The guidelines emphasize staying away from even getting close to going out of bounds when they speak to us about the important role that prudent behavior plays in preventing harm to children and vulnerable adults. Prudent behavior includes avoiding even the appearance of impropriety.
We usually think of avoiding the appearance of impropriety in terms of avoiding behaviors that might be misinterpreted or that might make a person vulnerable to a false allegation. The extra limits that we place on ourselves in avoiding such behaviors are commonly called boundaries.
Boundaries are established and observed in order to prevent harm not only to the person being served, but also to the person who serves.
And, although boundaries can be understood as a complex, interactive process by professionals who are both educated and experienced, for most people they boil down to a few basic principles of healthy behavior in ministry.
In our parish and school Safe Environment Programs, boundaries receive a lot of emphasis as one aspect of Standing Operating Procedures (SOPs).
Most volunteers in our Church are good and well-meaning people who have taken on extraordinary tasks.
They are persons who teach our children, guide our youth, bring the Eucharist to housebound elders, visit prisoners and the sick, invite those who have stopped practicing their faith to return and provide charity to those in need,.
Such persons, ordinary people doing extraordinary service for others, very much need and benefit from the structure of SOPs.
At minimum, SOPs provides a basic set of rules for behavior -- what to do and what not to do -- to avoid going out of bounds or even getting close to going out of bounds.
At best, SOPs represent the end product of real planning to recognize and reduce risks in the ministry.
If you are in a high responsibility position (any employee or a volunteer with independent access to or influence over minors or vulnerable adults), I emphasize to you the importance of the SOPs in your Safe Environment Program.
If you are the leader of a ministry group, I hope that you have considered the risks inherent in that work and have outlined steps for those in your group to follow so that those risks can be minimized.
As our ministries and programs resume after the summer break, I recommend a review of the SOPs that help us to stay safely well "in bounds."

2008
September

How is ministry to teenagers like going over Niagara Falls in a barrel?
Well, if you thought only about the risks involved, you probably would never give it a try!
Of course, unlike going over Niagara Falls, the work of ministering to our teens must take place. This ministry of handing on our faith and values to them and helping them weather the storms of culture and their own hormones is vitally important to them and to our Church.
However, ministry to teens can and must be done with care and planning to avoid catastrophe. Poorly done ministry puts the very youth we wish to serve at risk of harm, and some kinds of harm can become a source of alienation from the very faith we hope they will hold on to.
About the importance of planning: let me share a call I received not so long ago from a very astute pastor.
I say astute, first of all, because he was calling for help in planning a multi-youth group retreat. As difficult a challenge as youth ministry is, bringing together many youth groups only compounds the risks.
Secondly, he was calling nine months in advance. That is forward thinking!
Needless to say, I was delighted to receive the call. In seeking to respond to the pastor's request for help, I spoke with one of my co-workers here at the Pastoral Center, John Shaheen. John is Property and Insurance Manager for the Diocese.
Sometimes, the connection between the Safe Environment Program and the diocesan Property and Insurance Department is not immediately obvious. The connection is that John's department and my office care about the safety of our children.
We work together.
John and I went to the pastor's parish that very week. We met the leaders of the parish youth group and found that they were just as much "on the ball" as their pastor.
It did not take us long to understand that these were people who wanted to work with us to arrange the retreat in such a way that the likelihood of problems was reduced.
We went over the physical arrangements for meeting, eating and sleeping. John considered the risks of fire or injury. I considered concerns about providing an environment for healthy and moral interactions.
We then spent time discussing issues of supervision and the way in which chaperones would be screened and educated.
We even spoke about developing a covenant for the youth to sign that would lay out their responsibility to maintain a safe environment for themselves and for others. For youth, so much of that responsibility comes down to practicing mutual respect and a willingness to share concerns with trusted adults.
It was good for John and me to be able to review with the parish team some of the guidelines and forms that have been developed at the Pastor Center for use by our parishes and schools when planning this kind of event.
All in all, this was a great experience.
Great, because this pastor thought to ask for help: how different it was from the other kind of experience in which decisions are made impulsively without thought for risk to self, those served or the parish or school.
Great, because the planning was initiated so early: starting early means that there is plenty of time to make adjustments for the unanticipated problems.
Great, because the process was collaborative: the Pastoral Center working together with the pastor and lay leaders.
Great, because the kids will be safer when they gather: they will be able to focus on the real reason for the retreat.
Great, because the risk that a good idea might turn out to be harmful is greatly reduced.

2008
October

The sad reality of domestic violence has its own month.
Our Diocese, through its Web site and this issue of The New Vision, is joining many civic organizations throughout Arizona in pointing to this month as Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
We need these kinds of "awareness" months because we naturally tend to put out of our minds difficult realities whenever they are not pressing us personally. 
In addition, even among those who suffer, domestic violence is often held as a shameful secret and something to be kept out of public view. 
Domestic violence cuts across all cultures and socio-economic levels, and it is not uncommon. Research suggests that more than one-quarter of all families in the U.S. are affected.
Domestic violence may be physical, sexual or psychological. It is rarely an isolated incident. Typically, the violence grows in intensity over time. In the worst cases, the escalation ends in death.
Women are by far the most common victims of domestic violence: an estimated 4.5 million acts of domestic violence are perpetrated against adult women each year. But there is no shortage of men who suffer, especially among elders.
Beyond the immediate victims, children are often harmed. They are the "collateral damage" of domestic violence, getting in harm’s way as they try to protect a parent from injury or having their safety threatened by the abuser as a weapon of intimidation.
Little ones also suffer as witnesses to violence. You can imagine what children go through after seeing a mother injured by a father or boyfriend. These children live in fear. 
Long-term effects of this exposure include both psychological and physical harm, including difficulty establishing intimate attachments and the increased likelihood that the child will become either an adult victim or a perpetrator of domestic violence.
This cycle of violence across generations is perhaps the most discouraging outcome of all. The problems of the present become the seeds that bring to life the problems of the future.
As you read the story accompanying this column, I hope you will feel assured that that Catholic Social Services is responding to domestic violence by providing safe houses for victims of domestic violence in several communities across our Diocese.
Your support of our Diocesan Renewal Campaign and the Annual Catholic Appeal makes these programs possible.
What else can you do?
If you know a person who is in an abusive relationship, let that person know, when you can speak privately, that you fear for their safety and, if there are children in the home, for the safety of the children as well.
Be patient. It can take a long time for a victim comes to terms with the reality of the situation. Be persistent. Remind them that the problem is likely to get worse and that help is available. Refer them to the safe houses and law enforcement and counseling resources available at www.diocesetucson.domesticviolence.html.
If you are in pastoral ministry, go to that same Web address for resources on how best to respond to a person experiencing domestic violence.
If you know a child suffering in a family where there is domestic violence, approach the child with trust and respect. Allow the child to express feelings and listen to what he or she shares. Children need consistent, stable, trustworthy adults in their lives.
If the information you hear from an adult or child causes you to fear for their safety, make a call. You can call 88-CRIME to make an anonymous expression of concern. If the danger is immediate, you can make an anonymous call as a neighbor or friend to law enforcement by calling 911.
Much of the information here came from the web site of the Arizona Coalition Against Domestic Violence (www.azcadv.org). If you would like to know more, I encourage you to visit the site and explore its content and links.

2008
November

Three months ago, a newspaper story found its way to my desk. It was a story of alleged child molestation by a church worker. While it did not involve a Catholic parish, the story immediately captured my attention.
The story began with the particulars of a civil suit brought by the mother of a nine-year-old boy who reported that he had been molested by a volunteer who was watching him as his mother participated in a religious service.
The suit asserted that the volunteer had been convicted of a prior sexual crime and had molested the boy several times when alone with him in a bathroom.
This church, the suit said, had not done a criminal history check on the volunteer and did not enforce its own policy that no baby-sitter be alone with a child.
The story went on to reveal how the church's leadership had chosen not to make a distinction between a member (who comes to worship) and a volunteer (who provides a service on behalf of the church).
A church leader quoted in story said that they felt criminal history checks on volunteers were not warranted and were not done by any other church.
Clearly, in the Diocese of Tucson and in the Catholic Church across the country, we have a very different perspective and attitude about criminal history checks.
Our commitment is that all employees and all volunteers with independent access to or influence over minors or vulnerable adults will voluntarily go through criminal history checks and background checks. They do this for the good of those we serve and for the good of the parish as a whole.
I think almost everyone now understands the rationale for this policy and the importance of remaining in compliance with this policy.
But when it comes to our policy that even those volunteers who do not work with minors or vulnerable adults (called low-responsibility volunteers) will fill out applications, be reviewed for personal suitability for ministry or service and participate in annual education, those understandings are not as complete.
The story of a recent gathering at one of our parishes illustrates this.
A group of such low-responsibility volunteers had met to plan and to receive training. The subject of discussion came to the requirement that volunteers receive annual Safe Environment Program education. That's when the unmistakable rumble of grousing became evident.
The leader of the discussion immediately addressed the grousing. She reminded everyone of the abuse of children that had taken place in the household of our Church and in our own Diocese.
She reminded them first that as volunteers, no matter how limited their role might seem, they are part of an elite group. Overall, less than five percent of the members of our parishes actually minister or serve in it.
She told them that as members of this elite group, it is essential that even as low-responsibility volunteers that they model willingness to be scrutinized and to follow the guidelines for prudent behavior.
She told them that their willingness to participate in annual education is the only way to insure that they, who are the trusted members of the community, will know what to look for in the way of danger to our youth and what to do if they should see it.
After she had given these reminders and explanations, it was clear that this group of good persons, generous with their time and talent, had heard her, and I pray that they will become apostles to others in the same way.
The moral of these two stories I have shared is multi-faceted:
We cannot forget what happened and we cannot relax our efforts to prevent it from happening again.
We know that without the proactive participation of good people it is not possible to spot persons of evil intent who are trying to infiltrate the community or otherwise good persons who are succumbing to temptation.
Even a low-responsibility volunteer is around the parish more than most persons. It is critical that they know their responsibility to make a report to law enforcement if a crime is even suspected or to parish leadership if a person is acting in a manner both imprudent and contrary to Safe Environment Program policy.
We cannot remove sin from the world and, God forbid, it may be that despite our efforts a predator will abuse a child, but may it never be because we failed to follow our policies faithfully and may it never be that we did not act decisively to make the report to law enforcement when we first suspected a problem.


2008
December

We all worry about our children!
If we don't have any young ones of our own, we worry about our grandchildren, nephews and nieces, godsons and goddaughters.
We worry for good reasons: we love them and we know our world has many dangers.
Over the last decade or so, the Internet has become one of those dangers.
We know children are more familiar with the Internet than are many adults.
Fortunately, we do not need to become technological wizards to offer children sound guidance and supervision in their use of the Internet. What we must do is learn about the risks they face, consider how to give guidance without sounding like dinosaurs and master the basic concepts of effective supervision.
The four major risks that children and teens face on the Internet are sexual predators, bullying or harassment, identification theft and damage to the family computer from viruses.
It is that first risk – sexual predators – that I want to explore here.
On average, teenage girls are most at risk, but boys, especially in the confusing times of early adolescence, are also vulnerable. The most likely places in which Internet seduction is likely to begin are "chat rooms" and other social networking sites.
A sexual predator using the Internet starts slowly and with apparent innocence. The young victim is like the proverbial frog in a pot of water that is brought slowly to boil. The on-line chatting moves from open to private communications. Instant messaging is a common way to move the conversation from good to bad.
Your children will be more likely to listen to your guidance about Internet safety if you begin by asking questions about their online practices and experience. Learn from them about the technology they take for granted. Ask them to show you the sites they visit or have constructed.
In these conversations, let them know that you are aware that most people on the Internet, as anywhere, are good people, but further the conversation by asking if they or any of their friends ever had any "weird" experiences.
Let them know that you are aware that some people "troll" the Internet, looking for young people who are not "wise" to the dangers.
You might introduce them to one of the educational websites that appeals to young people, like www.netsmartz.org or www.azag.gov/ChildrensPage/P_Tinternet.html.
Often, an outside source of information like this, speaking language that children and teens understand, has more credibility with children than we do as mere parents!
Supervising your child's Internet activity begins with a good relationship. If you do not have a relationship in which serious matters can be shared with mutual respect, you will not hear about the dangers your child faces.
Be aware. Notice when your child's behavior changes. Ask questions about what is going on, and listen to the answers.
Set basic rules about using the computer. Children and young teens do not need to be accessing the Internet for hours at a time alone in their rooms. Privacy is not the same thing as secrecy. Secrecy makes them more vulnerable.
Not long ago, I attended a program on Internet safety at one of our parishes. The room was full of very interested young teens. Many parents were also present.
I hope that you will encourage the leadership of your parish or school to include education on Internet safety as part of the personal safety education our Diocese requires each year for children, youth and those who love them.